The main difference between men and boys is
              that men's toys cost more money

              Q.How do you confuse a blond?
              A.You don't, they're born that way.

              There was a guy who just got out of a really bad divorce with his wife. One day, he found a
              genie's lamp.
              The genie came out and said," Hello master. I will grant you three wishes but, what ever you
              wish for your wife gets double."
              The guy didn't like that part but he made a wish anyway. For his first wish, he said,

              "Genie, I want a house in Hawaii." POOF!!! He got one house, his wife got two. This didn't make
              him happy but, he made his second wish.

              "Genie,I want 2 billion dollars." POOF! He got two billion, his wife four billion. By now, this guy
              isn't very happy. The genie says,"You have one wish left. I have to remind you, what ever you
              wish for your wife gets double." The guy says," Yeah,yeah.I know." So the guy thinks real hard
              and says "

              I got it! Genie, beat me half to death!!"

             Why did the men from the Heavens Gate Cult prefer Mounds candy bars over Almond Joy?
              Because Almond joy's have nuts and Mounds don't.

                A duck walks into a bar and asks "got any crackers?"
              bar tender says no.
              Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, "got any crackers?"
              bar tender says no. Duck walks out.
              Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers?
              Bar tender says, "I told you yesterday and the day before that no! and if you ask that one more
              time Ill nail your beak shut!" Duck walks out.
              Duck comes back the next day and asks, "got any nails?" bar tender says no. Duck says "good.
              Got any crackers?"

              Q: How do you confuse a stupid person?
              A: Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

              What's the difference between God and a lawyer?
              -God doesn't think he's an lawyer

              What kind of clothes do lawyers wear in court? -Lawsuits.

              A guy walks into a bar. He sits down and says to the bartender, "I'll bet you $100 that if you put
              a shotglass at that end of the bar, I could stand at the other end and fill it up with my urine."
              Well the bartender thinks, "That's an easy $100." So he says "Okay." So the guy gets on top of
              the bar and pees everywhere, even on the bartender. Well, the bartender doesn't care, he just
              won $100. So very happily the bartender asks for his money. The guy very happily says, "Here
              you go!" The bartender then asks, "Why are you so happy?" And the guy says, "Well, do you see
              that guy at the other end of the bar? I bet him $1000 that I could pee on you and you would be
              happy!"